JUST FOR TODAY
“What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question.” ―Margaret Atwood
As I write this I am sitting in week 7 of isolation. I’ve been meaning to put pen to paper for a while but allowed myself to listen to the ebb and flow of my own energy. There are so many angles to access this through, they are so many ways we are all experiencing this time, they are so many points of view of how we ‘should’ be acting, there is so much noise that it’s easy to get lost in it.
In this post, I wish to offer you a space to access your own inner wisdom – to ask yourself what is this space in time offering me?
From speaking to clients and in the groups I am holding – I write this in response to some of the things that are arising for them. People who are still working as carers at home & carers in hospitals, people who’ve experienced death of family, people who’ve experienced loss in a variety of ways, people who feel guilty at the gift of a time to rest, people who are using the time to reflect, people who are using the time to get through this the best they can – everyone’s experience is different. So take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. I hope it provides some support to you.
HOLD YOURSELF GENTLY
I’ve heard so many people say they feel unmotivated during this time but feel they ‘should’ be doing something, doing more, they should be productive – PRODUCTIVE.
The programming that is so instilled in many of us – our worth is based on what we do, how much we produce, how much we work, how much we get done in a day. Our worth isn’t based on just being ourselves. That we are worthy full stop.
We’re in a pandemic and we still feel we should be producing the same output as if we’re just sitting in our offices. We’re not acknowledging the emotional upheavel people are experiencing. We’re not acknowledging that our circumstances have changed – maybe you’re home schooling, maybe you’re partner is also at home working, maybe you’ve lost your job, maybe you’re a carer for a family member, maybe your worried… maybe you’ve not had the time to digest all that is happening – so you’re not going to be able to operate on all cyclinders… you’re grieving, your’re adjusting, you’re in the space in between. Sometimes we have to acknowledge just getting through the days is a big achievement.
I’ve heard others say they feel guilty to have this reprieve – a chance to pause, to breath and to actually catch up on themselves.
Did it take a pandemic for some of us to stop – to actually allow ourselves to pause and reflect on the life we are living.
It made me wonder were we truly living before this? Had we got lost in the sea of doing, producing, consuming and want more more.
So many questions… and yet we may not have the answers yet. We are still IN itand often when we are in the middle of things we find it harder to see clearly, to access the inner truth of it for ourselves or the collective. So can you let yourself just be without the answers for now?
This is a time to hold yourself gently – to honor the part of you that feels you ‘should’ be operating at full capacity, to acknowledge the part of you that is relieved at a chance to have an enforced rest… a space to honor all the emotions that come to visit. Some days, to acknowledge getting dressed and eating – is a win!
Self empowerment through self exploration
What if you decided to not use this time to be productive but to sit with all that is arising, to take the time to listen and get to know your inner landscape. Here’s some prompts to guide you through this process depending on what you wish to explore.
What is difficult right now?
What is beautiful right now?
How am I doing really?
What have I been ignoring that I may be ready to explore now?
If (emotion) had a voice, what would it say right now?
What emotions / sensations are arising at this time for me?
When else have I experienced this sensation / emotion before?
How can I reassure this emotion / sensation or how I can be with it?
What are my current coping mechanisms for the feelings that are arising?
The next time this emotion arises within me I will practice positive coping skills by….
What do I need in this moment physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually?
What is keeping you from choosing to move towards peace, calm and grounding at this time?
How best can I support myself on all levels at this time?
How can I honor my energy right now?
What are the structures that I can come back to that nourish me?
If I’ve been given this time to ‘retreat’ how can I make the most out of it?
What have I been putting off due to not having ‘enough time’ – can I choose to do it now?
Today, I am grateful for…
3 kind things I can say to myself today, to guide me back to my body, my centre and myself are
What mantra can I use to bring myself back home to myself e.g. I am not in the past, I am not in the future, I am here.
Time to explore what it means to you
What am I learning about myself?
Who do I want to be when I come out of this?
How do I want to be changed, if at all?
What vision of the future do I hold for myself, my community and the world?
What hard things have you navigated in life? What can that teach you about supporting yourself through this space?
What do you want to take forward from this time – insights, structures, routines, values etc
What is coming up for you in relation to your growth and healing – you may find that it’s deeper patterning you are seeing as they are less distractions or ways to ignore it in this space
How can I honor the losses that I have or am experiencing?